Thursday, 17 December 2009
Police Leave Cancelled
The cold snap being experienced in South East London has completely ruined the Met's efforts to keep an eye on our friendly neighbours from Bermondsey on Saturday.
Government scientists have predicted that "around 84%" of Millwall supporters will own a coat and of the 16% left over, most will own some form of heavy sweater, or will have 'borrowed' one from their big brother before the weekend.
The Met have been thrown into chaos as the wearing of outer garments will make it impossible to see the regulation dodgy pink shirts that Millwall supporters are forced to wear.
"It's all gone pear shaped" remarked W.P.C. Nicola Bailey.
"We have received intelligence that many Millwall supporters have even gone so far as to purchase gloves in an attempt to hide the hand tattoos, acquired in double maths last year".
Charlton supporters have been encouraged to stay at home with their flasks.
"It's better to be safe than sorry", continued W.P.C. Bailey. "Those Millwall fans can be a nasty bunch, especially if they arrive home late from their paper rounds and miss the start of Soccer A.M"